Autobiography Draft 1 (More to come)

For as long as I can remember, my family has always been a huge part of my life. Growing up in a small suburban town on the east coast of the United States, and staying there has also contributed a lot to the bonds that both my family and I share.  I was born on June 25^th, 1991 in the Princeton Hospital, and being an only child it was just my parents and myself living in the same house. Fortunately at this time I had 3 older female cousins who were there to show me the ropes and essentially help me out when I was a youngster.

While my immediate family was close to me, there are certain friends who also came into my life who I like to consider my family. For the most part I’ve had 3 friends in particular who have been part of my life dating back to kindergarten and one who has even been a huge influence in my life since preschool. Being the only boy cousin in my family, I always yearned for the feeling of having a brother and these 3 friends in particular were there to fill that void.

From a young age my parents always tried to get me out in the world to meet and interact with new people. I vaguely remember hanging out with a group of other babies my age. My mother still refers to this as “play group” in which a bunch of mothers would bring their young children over someone’s house or to another undisclosed location to allow their children to interact. This doesn’t seem to have been successful to me as I vaguely remember the people the people I met. I do remember their names, but I haven’t kept in contact with them after all those years.

This brings me back to my friends that I have kept contact with. My town was based largely around sports. If you do ever take a trip to Plainsboro, New Jersey I’d wonder why unless you told me you were going to watch a certain type of sports game. Granted we are the supposed spot that the aliens landed in H.G Wells broadcast of War of the Worlds. Despite living there I don’t associate my town with that famous narrative, as two overgrown bushes in the smallest park in town cover the only monument of it.  As I mentioned sports earlier this is where most memories of my friends were made.

Growing up I was always considered one of the jocks, as I played almost every sport imaginable. Soccer in the fall, basketball in the winter and baseball the rest of the time. This interaction allowed me to further build my bonds with my extra “family”. One of the best moments comes from my friend who actually attends this very same college. It was during Tee-Ball and I remember vividly what had happened, the ball was hit to me and as I went to throw the ball back in my friend came over and tackled me. I was so upset I ran over to my dad who was the coach at the time and told him I didn’t want to play baseball anymore, and that I was no longer friends with Eric. Had that happened my life today would be so much different.

The fact that I was pretty much hooked on sports at such a young age really affected all of the people I would interact with in my life. I was going through practice and games almost day and the people I was hanging out with was never changing. The fact that all our parents were interacting during the game too had an influence, as my parents seemed to only allow me to hang out with the kids whose parents they were familiar with.

Unfortunately I never really got to know my grandparents on my father’s side as well as I wanted to. They passed away when I was a young age. I never knew my father’s mother and the only memories of my dad’s father consist of cleaning out his house after his death and adopting the dog that he left behind who shortly ran away and was hit by a car.  There are several pictures of him holding me but I have no recollection of them what so ever.  As for my mother’s side I had much more of a special bond with my grandparents.

Every Christmas and Easter was spent with my grandparents for at least half of the day. They always gave me the best presents at Christmas and always sent me a card for my birthday. For the most part they were always there for the most important events in my life. Unfortunately my grandfather passed away in March of 2009 and most recently my grandmother passed away in May of 2010. Fortunately my great aunt and uncle were there to fill that void.

Personally my favorite family member is my Great Uncle.  We have so many similar interests with fishing and hunting. I guess you could say that we’re the outdoorsmen of the family. I have so many memories of sitting around the table just listening to him ramble on about his past experiences. Him and my great aunt back in the day when they were both working for the CIA. Now I get the chance to make new memories with them as they own a beach house in Sea Isle City, New Jersey. Every summer since I can remember I have been spending my summers at their beach house, the most memorable events include Labor Day, Memorial Day and the Fourth of July.

All of these memories have been shared with my cousins on my fathers side. I rarely interact or talk to my cousins on my mother’s side as there is a family fight going on regarding the will of my late grandparents. Fortunately on my fathers side there are eight cousins who are close to my age who I consider my brothers and sisters. I’m one of two boy cousins. There are seven girl cousins who range from juniors in high school to having graduated from college 2 years ago. Being the oldest boy cousin and the only one who is dating, or of dating age they always try to pry into my life and try to give me advice about choosing girls. The most memorable thing they said to me was after I bought my ex-girlfriend a Tiffany and Co. necklace was that “Rauh boys have good taste”.

My various Aunts and Uncles have also been a huge part of my life allowing me places to sleep, feeding me, giving me advice on colleges and on a couple occasions taking me to the doctor. I remember back when I was 8 years old my parents went away to the Caribbean for a week and my aunt and uncle were allowing me to live with them for the week. Half way through I got an ear infection and got extremely sick. I remember my aunt taking me to the doctor to get medication and I thought she was the greatest thing because I was so nervous that I wouldn’t be able to go to any doctor except my usual one at home.

Having my entire family live on the east coast makes it extremely convenient to see everyone. There’s no traveling and unless there’s in climate weather or someone is sick we can count on everyone to make every event. After my aunt and uncle were in a serious car accident one icy winter. Since then they’ve been more cautious about driving in snowy weather but we still manage to see them every year around Christmas time.

Final Project Proposal

Just like Momaday who will be my mentor, the focus of my autobiography will focus on the genealogy of my family and the importance that they’ve had in my life. I’ll probably also focus on the environment in some spots, as it has recently allowed me to make several important decisions in my life such as what college I would attend or what my major I would choose.

Momaday focused greatly on the genealogy, and how they’ve essentially affected who he became. Most of the events in my life have all involved my family, and I feel that if anyone of them was even a little different there’s no possible way I would be the same person I am today. Even being away at school, my family is a huge part of my life, as they provide various different types of advice relating to school, my relationships, and my future. They’re always there and always seem to want the best for me so I feel that revolving my autobiography around them will allow me to honor them and it will give me enough emotion and material to write a quality piece of work

Here is a brief sample of what my writing will be like: Being one of two boy cousins, life was always interesting. My cousins never really seemed to have that type of relationship; we always felt more like brothers and sisters. Being an only child I never had the opportunity to be an older or younger sibling.

With my younger female cousins I always took on the role of big brother, if they were going out on a date with a boy, and if I was there I would always want to be one of the first one’s to meet him. I felt like it was my duty to protect my younger cousins and scope out potential dangers for them.

My holidays were never spent with my immediate family; they always consisted of my extended family. Aunts, uncles, and cousin’s filled a different relative’s house depending on the occasion. My house personally is reserved for New Years. If someone wasn’t there it always felt odd not seeing them. After the deaths of my grandparents on both sides of my family, it was clear there was a void. Fortunately my great aunt and uncle stepped in to fill that uneasy feeling we all had at our gatherings.

Research for this project would most likely be me going to my parents, or other family members and getting their input on certain events and to discover more about the origins of my family. A few more questions I have to ask are, how far back do I go? Should I talk about every family member specifically? Despite not being around for most of my life, how much emphasis should I put on my father’s parents? I feel like my family might be too big to talk about everyone individually, but since my autobiography focuses on family, I believe that the major contributors to my life should all be mentioned.

Girl, Interrupted. Some final thoughts.

After reading “Girl, Interrupted” by Susana Kaysen, we can discover that we can really learn a lot from the title itself. To me the title of “Girl, Interrupted” gives me the idea that Kaysen’s life was interrupted by the mental illnesses that made her check into the McLean hospital. Essentially her whole life was interrupted by her stay there. With nurses doing checks and while the hospital virtually had everyone on lock down their lives were being interrupted by some outside source. Also the actual mental illness was interrupting virtually everyone from their lives.This concept of being interrupted can be seen during the riots that they were watching on television. Despite the frightening scenes, the patients were actually calmed by the fact that they were on the sidelines of the turbulent events which were happening outside their door.

In relation to the Vermeer Painting, “Girl Interrupted at Her Music” the feelings conveyed in that painting can be compared to those of the patients within the hospital. They were going throughout life doing what they loved, up until they were affected by the mental illness which sent them to the hospital. Looking at the painting the music teacher could either represent the doctors or the disease’s that are affecting the patients. As Kaysen quotes in her story, “Don’t you see, she’s trying to get out” referring to the woman in the painting. I can imagine most of the patients in McLean are there against their own will, and are trying to get out for example Lisa who describes several escape attempts.

“Girl, Interrupted” stands for the patients and the fact that their lives were interrupted by a mental illness. Kaysen spent 2 years in McLean which was her interruption, but after being discharged she lived a normal life, and even ended up marrying. The painting and the patients can be as one in the same, being interrupted from what the love, and yearning for the interruption to end.

Multimedia Me: The Use of Multimedia in an Autobiography

We all know the phrase that “a picture is worth 1,000 words”. Another popular phrase reads, “seeing is believing”. As we have just finished reading “Beyond Katrina” by Natasha Trethewey and “The Names” by N. Scott Momaday we noticed an element that was not previously observed in the past autobiographies that we have read. This element is the use of multimedia in addition to the words that were used by both of the authors. Pictures are a way to preserve the past and freeze a moment in time, which is what essentially an autobiography is attempting to recreate. I feel that the use of multimedia in Trethewey’s autobiography is an effective way to retell the past and allow the reader to get a better understanding of what is being retold to them, while Momaday is only effective with his pictures and not his poetry and italics.

“Beyond Katrina” is a recount of the events of Natasha Tretheway’s life leading up to and after Hurricane Katrina, which completely ravaged the Gulf Coast. As soon as we pick up the book we’re greeted with a picture of a dilapidated house, which had been washed over by the storm and floods. This gives us a dismal warning of what’s to come in the following pages and that it will most likely be filled with the loss of something that once was great. After reading the prologue we discover one of Trethewey’s other talents, her poetry. There sitting in front of us is a poem titled, “Theories of Time and Space” which seems to capture the feelings of the evacuees from the Gulf when they left before the impending doom of the storm reached their shores. The line that stood out most to me was, “The Photograph-who you were- will be waiting for you when you return”. (Trethewey 5) Before Katrina I could imagine that a majority of the residents were happy but after evacuating and returning home to see the destruction they were never the same again.

I feel that poetry has more meaning and invokes more emotion than regular writing. This is an effective way of allowing your reader to experience the feelings that you are feeling in your autobiography. If a poem is well written I will most likely get the same mood that the author is attempting to convey in their work. Trethewey was able to do this in various poems in her book.

On page 10 of “Beyond Katrina” we encounter a photo of Natasha’s grandmother who she feels was one of the most affected by the devastation of the Hurricane. This use of old family photos indicates to me that Trethewey had strong family ties, and cared deeply for her close relatives. Using pictures while you’re talking about an individual also allows the reader to see who the author is talking about and essentially have that picture etched in the mind for the rest of the book. One chilling reminder of the events of Hurricane Katrina is when Trethewey talks about the number listed under the X’s marked on the homes that were ravaged by the storm. The number listed under the X indicated the number of dead that were found in the home. I’m curious to know if the picture on the cover is an indicator that no one from her family was killed in the storm but their dreams were destroyed just like the house was.

One photo I think Trethewey should have included despite losing the original was the picture of the “High-Rollers” sign. After devoting an entire chapter to the significance to the sign she could have done of better job of leaving us with a picture of it in our minds. I feel that taking a picture under the sign could have been a reminder to those that once had it good, and took a gamble in living in one of the most active areas weather wise. Living in the Gulf could lead to beautiful weather and good times but essentially it’s a gamble with the risk of Hurricanes and other dangerous elements such as the animals located in the area.

All in all I believe Trethewey was effective in using multimedia in her autobiography. The poems seemed to create similar emotions in the readers that were felt in the residents of the Gulf during the storm. The pictures also allowed us to visualize the individuals or places she was talking about in her story, and get a better idea of what she’s talking about and trying to explain.

Another book that used various examples of multimedia was “The Names” by N. Scott Momaday. He also uses various poems and pictures to help instill the reader with a more visual and emotional feeling for his story. While it does this, some forms of his multimedia seem to work more than others.

Upon opening the book we’re greeted with a genealogical chart, which clearly outlines the past generations of Momaday’s ancestors. This makes me think that family is a huge part of Native American life as I personally don’t know or care that much about my great-great grandparents and who they were. I mean I may want to discover more about them later in life but I’m not that curious about their personalities and exactly who they were. Momaday seems to know everything about them, and even more specific what they were thinking at the exact moment the picture was taken.

One picture that stands out to me personally is the picture of him riding his toy horse on page 62. I feel that all of us can relate to this and look back to our childhood and remember that one toy that we played with and imagined that we were really part of what was going on. Looking back at the picture Momaday can see that he was pretending that someone else was pursuing him on a horse. This is an effective example of a moment that is frozen in time. Looking back on your past and knowing what you’re thinking is a truly incredible experience.

Another picture that stands out is the picture of Tsoai-talee on page 69. Being named after something in nature instantly allows you to have a personal connection to that particular item. This rock was the origin of his name, thus a very important part of his life. He allows us to experience its importance by putting a hand drawn picture of it in his autobiography. Finally the pictures of his ancestors reverberates that his family is a huge part of his life and ultimately who he is today.

Like Trethewey, Momaday attempted to incorporate poetry into his autobiography. Personally, it annoyed me and confused me from the original text. If he was trying to instill emotions in me he was unsuccessful and unfortunately turned me away from his book. He seemed to throw it in at random times when it was not needed. Trethewey used her poetry at effective times and was able to add more to her work and not do anything to take away from it like Momaday.

Overall, I believe the use of multimedia in these two autobiographies was a successful attempt to add more to their life stories. We were able to visualize what was going on and see what they were talking about at a certain point in time. These pictures also allowed them to look back on their own lives and essentially allow them to learn more about themselves. I’m actually quite curious to go back and look at pictures of my family and myself and see what I think about them now and if I can remember anything or attempt to relive those moments. For my personal autobiography I would definitely include pictures of important events in my life to give my readers a better understanding of what has happened in my life.

Works Cited

Momaday, N. Scott. The Names. A Memoir. New York: Harper and Row, 1976. N. pag. Print.

Trethewey, Natasha. Beyond Katrina. Athens: University of Georgia Press, 2010. N. pag. Print.

 

 

Use of Pictures in “The Names” by N. Scott Momaday

Unlike the past autobiography’s we have  discovered in this class, “The Names” uses several multimedia pictures to give the reader a more visual sense of his life. Most often the images show Momaday’s extended family dating back to his great grandparents. This is effective in allowing the reader to feel more attached to the story and give them the chance to visualize the person who is being mentioned in the story.

One image that serves as a powerful reminder of his past is the picture of his mother on page 23. It depicts his mother dressed up in a traditional Native American outfit. This is a powerful image as it depicts one of his closest family members and his heritage as a Native American. While he was an only child, he spent most of his time around his mother and his father. In the genealogy chart it also shows that his mother was born to both a white man and a native American woman, and this depiction of her in traditional clothing shows that despite not being a full blooded Native American she was still tied to her native roots which was obviously passed on to her son.

To me personally the most important use of a picture is the genealogy chart on the first page of the book. This chart depicts all of Momaday’s family on both his mother’s and father’s side. Family is a huge part in the life of Native Americans. A genealogy chart depicts all aspects of your past, and it’s so fragile meaning if someone in it was never born or was replaced by someone else it could completely affect your future or prevent you from even being born at all. The pictures in “The Names” serve as a reminder to never forget your past, your family and where you came from. Pictures can serve as a powerful item to stop time and preserve it for future generations.

Beyond Katrina: A memoir.

We have just finished Beyond Katrina by Natasha Trethewey. This autobiography has stood out to me, essentially because it’s not a story about her, but more of a story about her home and her family. It also includes a series of poems she has written about the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina. Trethewey’s main reason for writing this story I feel is to shed light on the entire Mississippi gulf coast, and not just New Orleans who everyone thinks of when they hear the words Hurricane Katrina.

Trethewey brings us in personally, I feel like I can connect more easily to her than any other authors that we have read. She has no problem talking about low points in her life like her brother being arrested. She is a lot more intimate in comparison to Wolff in the act of sharing all the details of a certain event. The poems also serve as a powerful tool to instill emotions in the reader.

One powerful quote that jumped out as me was, “A cleansing the waiter said. Erasure wrought by wind and water.” (Trethewey 28) Another powerful idea was the the slate was wiped clean, with the gulf coast being the slate and Katrina was the eraser. Tretheway was able to turn this into a powerful allegory, referring to her revisions to her book as the hurricane coming in and switching things around to essentially turn it into a masterpiece, but her book holds a darker side quoting residents who are pretty certain that the Gulf will never fully recover from the devastation, and if it does it won’t be a pretty process.  This is shown in the words of Derrick Evans a gulf historian, “I don’t want to be able to say that I can see the future,” he told me, “but the devastation of the storm will not surpass the devastation brought on by the recovery.” (Trethewey 28) Personally, I think he means that the storm has caused grief for many, and that will continue into the rebuilding where people are already emotionally weak and may not be able to handle starting over again. Also all those that evacuated and have not yet returned will be in for a rude awakening.

This book was a powerful reminder of the tragedy that occurred and was clearly able to shed a light on the entire gulf coast and not just New Orleans. The use of poems was powerful in instilling emotion and the reader was really able to get close to Trethewey because she allowed us to find out more and not be left out in the cold. The fact that this autobiography was not entirely about her, may have allowed her to do that.

Outside Reading: A Hope in the Unseen by Ron Suskind

As I strolled into my high school auditorium, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would it be a happy man? Or a man so worn down from what he had been through that he would find it hard to smile. After finding my seat and studying his face I realized it would be an interesting experience. For the first several minutes Cedric Jennings introduced himself, talked about his hometown of Washington, D.C and thanked us for having him there. Then he cracked a smile, which broke the uneasy feeling in the room.

“A Hope in the Unseen” by Ron Suskind is an autobiographical novel about the life of Cedric Jennings and his sort of rags to riches story. Cedric Jennings attended the Frank W. Ballou Senior High school in Washington D.C. It was one of the most violent and blighted schools in the southeast corridor of the city. The dropout rates were in the double digits and just 80 of the 1,350 students attending the school had a B average or better. Cedric is one of the few students who receive straight A’s. Unfortunately, he’s in a school which is not understanding. To encourage better grades the school hands out awards to students who receive a B average or above and have a assembly to hand them out. Unfortunately this leads to several problems for Cedric. “It was just a day or two after last spring’s awards ceremony. A kid came up to him in the hall, a smallish kid in a green army jacket. The kid said something about not liking Cedric’s face and how he saw him get his $100 dollar award check and it made him sick-and there was a bulge in the army jackets pocket…Cedric looked down and could see the back of a rat-gray steel handle.” (Suskind 22)

Cedric eventually went on to attend MIT, where he had a rocky beginning. His grades were not where they should have been and many believed this was because of his roots, and the violent neighborhood he grew up in. He eventually went on to prove them wrong and attended Harvard for graduate work. After reading Cary’s “Black Ice” this book instantly popped into my head. The two just sounded so similar and it left me thinking about a lot about the race card, which we also viewed in Douglass. While Jennings did not write this book he collaborated with Suskind about what to say and to me it sounds a lot like Cary’s style of writing. In this book there’s a lot of description to create a feeling that the reader is really there and experiencing the emotions of Cedric. For example the book starts out with this passage, “A hip-hop tune bursts forth from the six foot high amplifiers, prompting the shoulder-snug slopes of black teenagers to sway and pivot in their bleacher seats.” (Suskind 1) Just as Cary did with everything described in intricate detail. Jennings also included the family aspect by talking about his mother in every chapter and how she had helped him get to where he did

Scene is also a huge part of this autobiographical novel. This book is written similarly to Wolff, and seems to play out almost like a movie. The order of the events would make a perfect movie, as we see the book almost come to life in our eyes. Personally I see this autobiography as an exposition. I believe Jennings is trying to share the message that you should never listen to anyone when they tell you, you can’t do something, and if you put your mind to it you can do whatever you want. Jennings’s did this by attending two of the most prestigious schools in our nation coming out of a neighborhood where no one seemed to succeed.

This particular autobiography stood out to me, because of the strong exposition highlighted in it. I personally have a similar exposition, which I want to talk about in my personal autobiography. While not as bad as Jennings’s I was often ridiculed about my size in high school, and how I would never make the varsity team in anything because of my height. I could have given up by agreeing with most of the people who told me I couldn’t do something, but I stuck with it and proved them wrong by making the team. “A Hope in the Unseen” echoes Cary’s “Black Ice” and provides a powerful experience to the reader, and makes them believe that they can do whatever they want to do.

Further Reading: Lorene Cary.

For my “further reading” I read over an Interview with Lorene Cary. Before viewing this I always wanted to know how she viewed race as a barrier in schools, and how race affected how successful someone could be when they’re put into an unfamiliar environment. Another question I wanted to know was how did she feel about giving up her African American roots to fit in more at a predominately white school. Through this interview we find out a lot about Cary and why she still doesn’t seem to like St. Paul’s School in New Hampshire.

One of Cary’s main reasons for writing “Black Ice” was to show the hardships faced by a scholar ship student during the time of integration. Cary states, “I also very much wanted to figure out how to explain to people who lived on either side of American extreme privilege what it looked like from the other side”. When she said privilege it still seems to me that she is hard on herself. Like the pot smoking incident or her failing math she always takes her anger out on herself. She says nothing about her earning her education at St. Paul’s and later UPenn, but calls it a privilege, which instantly gives less credit to herself.

Lorene Cary reminds me of another author who went through a similar experience. Back in high school we read a book titled “A Hope in the Unseen” by Cedric Jennings. Which is a true story about a young African American boy who grew up in the projects, similar to Cary in Philadelphia. He later went on to receive his bachelor’s degree from Brown University and his Masters from Harvard. While he did not attend a private high school, I saw similar situations arising from him and Cary. Jennings’s was ridiculed for being so smart and that because his race would not succeed; this reminded me of Cary describing her emotions about how she wasn’t afraid but she new that white students thought she was.

A huge part of Cary’s writing seems to be the use of emotion and how it all plays into her life. When asked about becoming emotionally involved in her stories this is what she has to say, “You can’t write it without  becoming involved. Emotion is the currency of fiction. Nonfiction can manipulate emotion but the currency of fiction is emotion”. This explains why we can almost sympathize with Cary in her book despite not going through what she did, or being there with her. Another emphasis is the fact that if you don’t put any emotion into your writing then the reader won’t feel any emotion either and it will be hard to keep them hooked.

While “Black Ice” focuses on racism in her time, she still continually shuts down myths that are commonly associated with race determining success in education. She explains a quote that she was once told, “You know, we’ve been sending these inner-city black children on this small scholarship to independent schools and it’s so hard and it’s mainly not doing well. We’re almost deciding that it’s not worth it, that we shouldn’t do it because it’s too bad for them”. Cary explains it all as a myth that is told to black children to make them think they can’t succeed. This quote reminds me somewhat of “This Boys Life” when Tobias is told what the workload would be like at his new school in attempt to deter him from coming.

I feel that Cary has done a good job in her autobiography of explaining how there’s a misconception of race versus status and how it affects one’s education. While reading this interview I could almost make out her voice as I can hear it in “Black Ice”. This interview was conducted 2 years ago and it seems that Cary has not changed since her writing of her autobiography. She is a very intellectual, emotional and descriptive person who is able to convey her thoughts and emotions through both her writing and a simple interview.

http://www.upenn.edu/pennnews/current/interviews/101509-1.html

Lorene Cary’s Writing Style

After reading the first 6 chapters of “Black Ice” by Lorene Cary we start to get a strong grasp of her unique writing style, and how she wants us to view her story. Cary’s autobiography seems to focus a lot of the presence of racism at her boarding school. A huge part of her writing seems to be focused on emotion, both coming from her, her friends, her family and the generic people she comes in contact with. She also tries to make the reader create a connection between themselves, and her. Meaning, we all went through similar emotions as her when we went to College, or High school for the first time. She’s able to stir up memories in the reader that we normally don’t think about everyday. One example, “I found myself chattering on, very gaily, about where I would put my things” (Cary 49). Personally, this brings back memories of moving into college. It was a simple task of unpacking and deciding where I would put my belongings, but the excitement of something new seemed to add more magic to the task. Another example that brings back memories is when Cary’s mother is telling the story about the science fair. “She started with the winning- the long, white staircase of the Franklin Institute, and how the announcer called my name twice because we were way at the back and it took me so long to get down those steps” (Cary 15). Instantly I imagined myself in my grade school’s gym standing by a table showing off my white poster board and my stuffed animals (can’t remember what they were in my experiment for) to anyone or any judge that walked by and looked at my work. I believe Cary takes pride in her past. While it seems while she will have a tough time at this school she has an immense amount of pride for herself and her friends. I also believe she take pride in creating emotions in the reader and allowing them the chance to relate to her.

Another writing style that stands out in Cary’s writing is her descriptive writing of both people and the surrounding area. She really allows us to visualize what she’s writing about. It feels like we’re there next to her looking at what she’s seeing. For example when she meets Jimmy Hill, “one of the skinniest boys I had ever seen, had arrived that morning from Brooklyn. He had extravagant brown eyes. His black satin jacket, emblazoned on the back with a red-and-yellow dragon, hung open to reveal a fishnet T-shirt that cast tiny shadows on his chest” (Cary 56). I truly believe that Lorene Cary wants her readers to be there with her, and fully experience what she did. She does a miraculous job of describing the people and places, and creating the emotions that she feels in us. I really feel like I’m there, experiencing everything she is.

Textual Freedom in the Lives of Frederick Douglass and Tobias Wolff.

After reading both the  “Narrative of The Life of Frederick Douglass” by Frederick Douglass and “This Boys Life” by Tobias Wolff, the reader can get a feel on what freedom means to both Douglass and Tobias. While freedom might mean different things to both of them, in reality their goals are not that far apart. In my opinion both Douglass and Wolff want freedom, and strive to reach it, they never actually obtain the feeling of freedom in which they desired.

Living in the Pre-Civil War South, the ultimate goal of a slave is Freedom.  In Frederick Douglass’ autobiography he tells his account of his early life, up until he ran away from his masters plantation in Maryland and found his freedom in the state of New York. The fact that Douglass’ was even able to write an autobiography was a freedom inside of itself. Not many slaves actually got the chance to escape and write their story in the ensuing years. A lot of this was based on the fact that they never received an education and after they had escaped to freedom they wanted to remain in hiding where they would never be found. Douglass’ narrative along with Harriet Beecher Stowe’s “Uncle Toms Cabin” was enough to change the public’s opinion on slavery.

There are a few key events that highlight freedom in the life of Frederick Douglass. One of the most important was him learning to read and write. “Very soon after I went to live with Mr. and Mrs. Auld, she very kindly commenced to teach me the A,B,C. After I had learned this, she assisted me in learning to spell words of three or four letters” (Douglass 263). After Mr. Auld scolded Mrs. Auld for teaching Douglass how to write he realized one of the keys to freedom was literacy. He took that and set out to learn how to read from the local children. Another defining moment for Douglass was his fight with Mr. Covey. “This battle with Mr. Covey was the turning-point in my career as a slave. It rekindled the few expiring embers of freedom, and revived within me a sense of my own manhood. It recalled the departed self-confidence, and inspired me again with a determination to be free” (Douglass 290). This event served as a catalyst to Douglass’ escaping and finding his way to freedom.

Wolff was in a similar predicament to Douglass but in a more modern world. Wolff faced the problem of Dwight who his mother married after moving to Washington State. In many ways Dwight was a slaveholder and Tobias was a slave. This can be seen with Tobias working his paper route, and Dwight would take the money and spend it for his own personal use. Wolff always had plans of running away to Canada or some other location to get away from Dwight. He even goes as far as writing a letter to his uncle in Paris. “That night I wrote my uncle a long letter in which I created a nightmare of Chinook. It seemed true enough as I wrote it, but I got carried away” (Wolff 137). This just seems too much like a slave trying to escape his master and his plantation. Wolff even went as far as trying to take Dwight’s favorite possessions to get back at him. “I went back in the house and got the two shotguns. Then I got the Marlin and the Garand. On my last trip I rounded up the Zeiss binoculars and the Puma hunting knife and a tooled leather scabbard Dwight had bought for the Marlin” (Wolff 268). Unfortunately, Wolff realizes that no act of revenge will ever repay Dwight for the torment and pain he caused Wolff in his childhood.

Despite both obtaining freedom both Douglass and Wolff never achieved “mental freedom” which allowed them to really be free. Douglass states, “ I have been frequently asked how I felt when I found myself in a free State. I have never been able to answer the question with any satisfaction to myself ” (Douglass 315). Frederick Douglass never obtained “True Freedom” he was a free man in a world that wasn’t accepting. He missed his old way of life as a slave. People in New York didn’t have the hospitality of those in the South and essentially Douglass was on his own, trying to lie low and just fit in. Both authors also attempted to change their given names to try and escape further from their haunted past. Wolff also relapses into memories of the past, which once held them down. Wolff remembers talking to his own children and thinking of his so-called father Dwight, and how he treated him. Wolff also left many details of his story out to protect both himself and his mother. Douglass also used this same strategy to protect the people that helped him escape. Had both of these authors been free, their autobiography’s could have essentially been very different with a brighter tone, and allow us readers to have a better feeling when we finish the book.